Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
