I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
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