Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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