Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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