So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I just want nice things and good sex
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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