Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
