So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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