apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize