one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I still have a little drunk in my system
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize