I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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