its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Randomize
