yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize