I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
