It's Friday. Sex?
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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