did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Dicks are not precious.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
