Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
i think i have herpe
just one?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
