i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
