I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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