I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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