my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
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