I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Randomize
