Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
