We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Church boner. Awkwardddd
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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