I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
