the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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