I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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