I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
