I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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