I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
