stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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