you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
