There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
