can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
