I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize