Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
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