Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
