At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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