I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
