Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
