hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
