is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
i need some magic done to my vagina
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
