Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
