I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
