i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize