PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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