The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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