I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I want to stick my p in your. b.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
