What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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