It's like God shit irony all over that family
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Randomize