She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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