On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
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