roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
