i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I faked an abortion last night.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
two words...techno handjob
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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