You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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