Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
