He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
