I wanna bring you to show and tell
I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize