I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
