why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
