What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
