Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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