Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
